What is your mothering style!!!????

Im a mother that loves to be hands on with my boys when it comes to playing,snuggling,dancing,swinging them around,giving them piggy back rides,shooting hoops,running at the track,doing Karate along side them.

When my boys were infants I loved nursing them,I loved them sleeping under my arm,even tho it meant I had a cramp in my neck. I LOVED them being in the snuggly thingy that kept them in front of me close to my chest. I loved kicking back on the couch while they took naps on my chest. I loved pushing them in the jogging stroller,swirling them around as they got older.

I love it when they put their feet on my mine and I dance around with them,I love it when they would each grab one of my legs and I would try to walk around with them sitting on my feet. They BEG me to pick them up and throw them in the pool over and over and over again....I rarely get in the pool all the way,due to hair color drama,and most black women do not like getting their chemical relaxed hair wet if its chemically processed that is,till it's almost time to get it redone....*Just a bit of cultural FYI* My hats off to the natural sistas that have the confidence to do it naturally,I hope I can get there some day.

Anyways, I love it when my boys come in and snuggle up with me early in the morning on Saturdays,and sit right next to me when watching movies. I LOVE it that they STILL like to hold my hand...I LOVE it that they are proud of me at karate,even tho I'm not very good!! hahaha!!

I love that they like to walk on my back when it hurts....Yep thats like the best thing for my back ....I love to run my fingers through there curly curls when its grown out,so soft....God is amazing in his diverse creations!!

Im a hands on momma in a physical as you just read..I may not be Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart,I dont do alot of home economics well,but I am a mother who will stand up and strong for her boys. Im will always be there advocate,I will train them in the ways of the Lord best I can with Gods supernatural help and from those he allows in our lives.
Im the kind of mother who is probably more like a coach in her parenting than the traditional authoritarian,maybe because Im a single/widowed mom,and our dynamics are just...well....different.

I like who I am as a mother. I Like HOW GOD HAS WIRED ME as a mother....The more i relax in who God has created me to be and not fall into comparing myself with other moms the more I can enjoy mothering....Every mother has her own God given gifts that are perfect.

AWWWW,feels good to get this out in the open for some reason....There can be a lot of pressure to be a particular "model" of a mother....I try to be what God says, Proverbs 31,but I believe that looks different for all in Christ Jesus depending what we are called to do,how we are wired or bent etc.................

When Gods Love leaves me speechless:Being Served *FBCI College Ministry

O.k. last Monday which was May 2nd I was served a sweet dinner by the First Baptist Church Irving College ministry fella's. Me and the boys and another lady who was widowed early in her life were there being served dinner in the Fireside room...

It was so sweet. I am not used to being served or allowing others to serve me. I realized since a couple of the guys have been hanging out with the boys and investing time with them that people are blessed when you allow them to serve you,especially when their hearts are pouring out to do so. This is not the first time I have been served as a widow and single mom,but it is like I finally realized in it's fullness that this is how God loves,and shows his love using His people.

I went to the dinner not sure what to expect,but was glad I didnt have to cook!! haha!!!We were served Olive Garden take out with Ice Cream Pie for desert (PERFECT) and then they all sat and ate after they served us. It was great fellowship. We were at the church earlier before dinner for Elijah's guitar lesson and so Elijah played his guitar and sang a few worship songs for us all,while Isaiah (my drummer boy) kept beat for him. It was such a sweet evening of fellowship.

I am grateful and amazed at the desire for serving others the FBCI college ministry lives out. Their serving me and the boys has been an example of what God says about caring for the widows and the fatherless. I want to have a servants heart the way they do and I hope my boys will grow into young men like those that have served us in this season of life from FBCI.
I LOVE it when God leaves me speechless............................Thank you Fella's if your reading this,thank you very very much.........Me and the boys will continue to pray Gods favor,blessing and protection over you.

 1 Timothy 4:12
 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

Death Couldnt hold Him

http://youtu.be/upGCMl_b0n4


Watch this and Praise God for His Son Jesus this Easter

Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language? Acts 2:8

(both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues! Acts 2:11

The below entry is a part of a note I wrote in FB notes upon the anniversary of my husbands death 8 years ago. I wanted to share the powerful presence of God through his Holy Spirit that night at my husbands memorial service at our then church in 2002 Calvary Chapel in Chandler AZ where we lived before he passed away. I wanted to share his life and struggles at the memorial and share the grace and mercy God gave my husband Chad,in spite of his struggles because he had given his life to Christ..Well as I was reading back over this note I posted last year the Holy Spirit brought it to my attention that this happening your about to read about is similar to what the Verses in Acts 2:8 and 11, I gave above testify to these happenings from the memorial service.
That God can reveal himself to anyone at anytime no matter the language being spoken at the moment...please do take the time to read the below in light of the scriptures I shared above...I'm encouraged again in a new way with what happened 8 years ago,wow..Praise you Lord. Many things happened that night,and so it starts out stating what that next thing was:
 

"Then God did an amazing thing again that same night. I remember seeing a small Hispanic man at the back of the room. Well,afterwards he came up to my pastor who was Mexican and spoke Spanish to ask Jesus into his heart.

Ya see guys,this man spoke  "None to very little English" and worked with Chad. This little man had just been hired at Chads work only a few days before Chad died and Chad was his supervisor and had been training him on the job for those few days. 

This little man came up to me so happy with his New Believers Bible in hand after speaking with my pastor and accepting Jesus Christ as his Lord Savior,and he said in very broken English as he raised his Bible up." Because of Chad".

I share this to say God worked and turned the heart of a man who came to a English speaking memorial service and UNDERSTOOD what was being offered even though he didn't know the English language being spoken. I was amazed at that night. I still remember the look on this mans face,his Joy and revelation even though he couldn't communicate it with me due to language barriers. The HOLY SPIRIT spoke truth and Love and Freedom to him even though his language was NOT being spoken at all during the whole service.......I often wonder where that little Hispanic man is s now..........God is MAJESTIC."



Felicia Hyde

Wretched with strings in need of Mending

It's been a while since I last blogged. I have had computer problems but I'm up and running now praise God and thanks to a generous Computer tech Brother in Christ from my church.

This past week has brought about a an unfortunate news of some old dear friends of mine who were involved in a senseless tragedy. I try and make since of it all as my heart really breaks for all involved. I will say it was a rude awakening that this world is not my home and I must stay close to the Lord even when I can't always sense his presence. This tragedy has made me think more about my parenting and my own character issues that I need the Lord to mend within me.............

I am reminded of the undeserved blessings in my life and continuing to ask God to redeem those other parts of me that are still very broken. yes broken. I have broken pieces. I'm saying that out loud on this blog. Keeping it real. I know who I am in my brokenness. Not that I will tell all the broken pieces. Somethings others don't need to know about you. All anyone needs to know if they "demand" to know anything about me, is that I have accepted the blood of the lamb that was slain for me. I drink from the cup that he offers me and he has redeemed me and is continuing to do so. He promises not to leave me as I am,or anyone else if they are in pursuit of Christ Jesus.........

Right now I'm trying to finish a Book called Abba's Child by Brennan Manning.....will blog about that next time.
I'm also doing reading time with my boys reading Elijah The Shack and to to Isaiah Where the Red Fern Grows. It is good to read aloud to them and spend this individual time at night. I'm tired after reading for 40 -50 minutes..I read to them 20 to 25 minutes each.


Anyways here is a favorite song of mine that I think reflects a little bit of my heart.
Music of My Heart by Nicole C Mullens

 I'm not ashamed to tell the whole world, oh
Without you, I'm nothing at all
That I have strings in need of mending
I'm out of tune in certain parts
So strum the chords of mercy
Restore my soul completely
Lay your hand upon me
And this instrument will breathe

[Chorus]
'Cause you're the music of my heart
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The melody within my soul
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The song that holds me in the dark
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The fire that warms me when I'm cold
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The symphony that calms my fear
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The lyric that I long to hear
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The masterpiece, the work of art
Complete before I start
The music of my heart

Yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Creator of all that is lovely, oh
Write a tune upon my heart
And when you finish will you play me
Like a beautiful guitar?
Strum the chords of mercy
Restore my soul completely
Breathe life into me
And this instrument will sing

[Repeat Chorus]


Of my heart
I'm captivated
(Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Heart)
Of my heart
My soul's elated
(Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Heart)
Of my heart
Because
Every single line's full of love divine
Write me like a valentine

[Repeat Chorus]

Yeah, the music of my heart
Of my heart
The music of my heart
Of my heart
The music of my heart

when I am Old Isaiah 46:4

Ok. I have a confession to make. Being closer to 40 is scary. Being closer to 40 with two little boys and still having a marital status of widowed is even more scary. I try to take life moment by moment,but every now and again the prickly shivers of fear as if watching Night mare on Elm street creep up and I then must hit my knees moment by moment some day's till the shadow of what feels like "death" passes.  Then I'm o.k. again.

My boys go through this too. The same emotions at different times than I, about moving through this earthly life wondering IF they will ever have this earthly VOID filled with a human man they can call father. Oh you can quote scripture all day long and it's all true,but there is STILL something very very very important about a personal tangible father you "KNOW" is all your own. Nothing can replace this for a child wholeheartedly I don't think. I find this promise comforting and will pass this on to my boys:
and in the wilderness. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.” 
Deuteronomy 1:31   
As I stated in a earlier post God comforts us and we MUST continue to respond to His comforts with gratitude and humbleness and not turn from it wanting more than what he is allowing at this time in our lives.

Now I have sat back and analyzed why we are still single from sociology stand points and research statistics on age brackets,race,region of country etc.....and it's craaazy. Much of the info has many valid facts,but I then remember God doesn't work or make his decisions based upon the world statistics and numbers and demographic margins or  it's economy in anyway,,It's all about Him being sovereign and Us as a family trusting that all will be ok if we continue to surrender our hearts desires to his will. That doesn't mean God will allow for opportunity for a husband-father for us on earth. It doesn't mean that his good and perfect will means he will grant us our hearts desires by way of a husband-father. I want to believe it does.But my faith tells me it's not true.  My faith tells me that by being obedient on earth does NOT mean I will be rewarded here on earth at all with anything I ask. My faith tells me I can hope to hear "Well done Good and faithful servant" and anything else I may be granted or blessed with on this earth is just that,a blessing,extra,I will go out and say it is Grace to us if he does provide us with husband and father on this earth in these young years of my boys and what is left of my physical youth.  I guess I just needed to write this out to regain perspective on my purpose on earth which is to bring God glory however which way he is asking me to do that. Staying widowed till I die,or re-marrying and having a another set of children. which ever is his good and perfect pleasing Will for my life is asked so that I may be a vessel to further the kingdom and bring Glory to Him....This is a hard cough sryup for me to swallow,trully it is. It is scary to me but at the same time I Know it's the truth and I can trust Him. I must pray for courage to follow through with whatever is HIS good and perfect Will for my life..So dear freinds in Christ Jesus when or if you think of me past this blog pray that I have courage,even if it means doing what God wants me to do and doing it Scared,relying upon his Grace alone...  

Even to your old age and gray hairs
   I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
   I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
 Isaiah 46:4

I NEVER thought I would,or could...................................

I never thought I would marry the man I did.

I never thought I would have children. I did. TWO BEAUTIFUL BOYS.


I never thought I would be a widow. Yet I am.
 
I never thought I would be a single mom and a widow at the same time.But I am.
 
I never thought I would ever own a home,yet I did,2 of them.

I never thought I would be a stay at home mom,yet I have been and still am.

I never thought I could tell the whole truth* about past hurts and pains in front of others,yet I did,and I am free to love deeper because of it.

I never thought I would or could finish my Bachelors degree. I did. with two active boys.

I never thought I would have a son who loves Chess and Golf and karate.Yet I did,and he is beautiful.

I never thought I would have a another son that is reserved yet spunky and amazingly artistic and so full of Gods grace.Yet I did. He too is beautiful.

I never thought I could or would know God in the way of a caretaker,husband,comforter. But I do.

I never thought I would ever get older. Yet I have.

I never thought I could or would ever experience deep sadness and loss,and disappointments. Yet I have.

I never though I could call on Jesus to rescue me. Yet I did. And he did rescue me.

I never thought I would desire to NOT be independent. Yet I have learned no one can live in Christ Jesus and be on their own island.

I never thought I could stay up late and get no sleep with a crying baby and still be able to put words together. But I do.

I Never thought I would or could home school my son. Yet I am. at least for a little while*

I never thought I would or could be the woman I am today. But I am. And I like her.

I never thought I would be blogging.yet I am.......LOLOL



Look at the nations and watch-
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something new in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told.

Habakkuk 1:5